Describing the Jordan XI Space Jams with My Eyes Closed to a Blind Man Over the Phone While Working at Foot Locker

I got you. These joints clean, bruh. Clean. Classic too. Jordan introduced these joints during the 1995 Eastern Conference Finals vs the Orlando Magic. Bulls lost that year. I know. Rodman wasn’t there yet. They’d go on to earn three more rings, of course. But don’t trip on that, mane. Cause these the kicks he laced up in the movie “Space Jam.” The joints that helped him and the Tune Squad defeat the Monstars. The dunk at the buzzer. When he launched from half court. Stomping on Charles Barkely’s character. Fighting off two other Monstars as his arm extended forty feet toward the rim. Yeah, cartoon physics. It was crazy. If it won’t for these sneaks bruh, Jordan would be a captive millions of light years away on Moron Mountain. And the Bulls probably wouldn’t have won six titles. You feel me? Exactly bruh. These the joints. Promise. Let me describe these joints to you. The bottom of the sole is a clear blue gel. Picture yourself walking on water. Right, kind of like Jesus. The upper sole is a pure white. Angel wing white. Like a cloud hovering above the ocean. Matter of fact, go ahead and feel along the edge of your foot. All those little edges and crevices and shit, the sole is designed similar to those grooves. Curving and contouring in the right places. Sleek, black patent leather hugs the middle of the shoe, covering the toe box. It catches then reflects light. Imagine the rich, smooth skin of a lover. Hopefully that ain’t weird. But you got me? Word. Word. Above that is a matte black mesh upper that houses the lace bed. The heel tab of the shoe got Jordan’s “45” stitched at the top. You right. He wore that number when he came out of retirement. Yeah, he went back to 23 after twenty-two games. But the jumpman symbol is my favorite on this joint. It’s royal purple—king shit. Tucked in the far corner, right near the heel. What’s the jumpman look like? Flight bruh. Check it. Imagine yourself sprinting full speed. Then leaping. Gliding. Defying physics. Stretch out your arm, yo. I’m serious mane. Stretch it out. Now pretend you palming the rock in that hand. Pretend you flying. Now stay there. Mid-air. Yeah dawg. I’ll hold these for you. Promise.



Image: MarkBuckawicki, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons