A response to China ending foreign adoption
160,000 of us—no more—maybe less
I hope we’re all still here but I would not
blame any of us if a few were missing—
we’re all missing—technically but are any of us
missed? I would like to think so.
I feel at home in museums, next to old, battered things,
I wonder if this sense of belonging comes from
being one of China’s relics—products, leftovers.
I am a piece of Chinese history that will be studied,
discussed in classrooms and board rooms among
psychologists, social workers, historians.
I wonder what they will say about us.
U.S. articles cry over the American families who will never
adopt the China doll they have been praying and waiting
for but what about the babies? What will become of them?
I was called lucky because I got out of that Chinese orphanage
but who is luckier? A child parented by foreigners
in a foreign land or a child parentless in their homeland?
160,000 of us—no more—maybe less
Foreign parents, foreign land, an unhealthy fear
of being abandoned, an answered prayer.
My heart, a seesaw as I pray Thank God
this happened. Thank God this happened
after me. After me. Why? Why did this happen
after me? Why not before me? Why not me?
What would have become of me—parentless
in my homeland? What would have become?